Seymour is a male tabby cat. He has four paws, two ears, and one crooked tail. He is wanted by the US government for several counts of fraud and treason. He is a purveyor of mouse.
| Date of Birth | 8/13/2018 (approximate) | |
| Status | Alive | |
| Aliases | Pumpkin Pie, Seymo, Sea Monster, Bitchboy Nasty, Stinking Hole, Seamus Powers, Boomtown Biscuits | |
| Family | Unknown | |
| Allies | Mouse | |
| Enemies | Ben, The IRS, Garfield, Playboy Carti | |
| Likes | Mouse, Dog Treat, Biting, Strings, Nefarious Schemes, Boxes, Heating Pad, Saying Meow | |
| Dislikes | Car, Ben, Vet | |
| Neutral | Celia, Lori, Piper, Rowdy |
Seymour is a male American Shorthair cat. He is a mackeral tabby with a bright, deep orange coloration and golden eyes. He has a significant kink in the middle of his tail, which he is very insecure about. He has developed black spots around his nose and mouth, the spots are becoming progressively larger as he ages. He has very bad breath.
Seymour was adopted from the Humane Society of Summit County on 11/10/2018 under the name Pumpkin Pie. Not much is known about his origins, but he had an upper respiratory infection and a double ear infection when he was first observed. Shortly after adoption, he developed several lesions on his face and paws. The cause of these lesions was unknown, but they developed infections and caused him to look very nasty and crusty.
Seymour descends from a long line of orange and powerful cats. It is rumored that he had a salacious affair with his sister-in-law Tammi Jo, and that he may actually be the biological father of his nephew Lil’ Beans.
Seymour was born with the heart and ego of an entrepreneur. He decided that instead of catching mouse like the average lay-cat, he would amass a great deal of mouse and sell them for immense profits. It is unknown who purchases mouse supply, or why there is a demand for them in the first place. There is speculation that Seymour is buying mouse from himself in an elaborate fraudulent scheme, as seen in his NFT scandal.
The amount of mouse that Seymour possesses is unknown, but he has compared it to the GDP of Somalia in past interviews. The units of mouse remain unknown to humans, so this comparison is somewhat useless. Nevertheless, Seymour is never seen without mouse to spare and will freely distribute mouse to those he deems worthy.
Last modified: Thu Jul 11 15:30:27 2024