Piper is a dog with a dark past and an insatiable bloodlust. She is also a very pretty princess.
| Date of Birth | 5/27/2014 | |
| Status | Alive | |
| Aliases | Michone, Linus, Pip, Pips, Pipis, Pippin, Pipsi Poodle, Pippinpaw, Diper, Scottie Pippin, Peppadew Pepper, Pesto Pasta, Ice Cold Pepsi | |
| Family | Mom, Dad, Delanie, Celia, Rowdy, Seymour, Ben | |
| Allies | Jibe, Ollie | |
| Enemies | Rodents, Skunks, United States Military | |
| Likes | Green Vegetables, Bloodshed, Tummy Scratches, Destruction, Being Called Pretty | |
| Dislikes | Teenage Boys |
Piper is a medium Australian labradoodle, weighing in at about 30 pounds. She has a tan, fleecy coat with a relaxed curl pattern. She has small white blazes on her chest and behind her nose, though they are nearly imperceptible unless she is freshly groomed. She has hazel eyes and long, straight eyelashes. She is missing several teeth, including all of her central incisors.
Piper entered the world as Michone, this was a dark time for humanity. Her initial reign of terror focused on the Baltic Region of Central Europe, where Michone went on a rampage for several weeks and obliterated thousands of acres of farmland in Poland, Lithuania, and Southern Latvia through the use of experimental bio-weapons. This led to a small-scale famine, and Michone was subsequently deported from the region. Her motivations for this destruction remain unknown, though media coverage of these events seems to have been suppressed by international organizations.
Michone then arrived in France, where in the abscence of funds and resources, she resorted to selling her body and committing unspeakable acts to survive. She then became addicted to opium and quickly amassed a large amount of debt through gambling and shady dealings. Her ties to Paris’ organized crime rings quickly turned sour and she fled Europe, stowing away on a boat to Brazil. Not much is known about Michone’s time at sea, though it can be assumed that she participated in several unimagineable atrocities in the abscence of international laws.
Upon reaching The New World, Michone allegedly assisted the CIA with several regime changes throughout the 20th century, benefitting American business interests. In particular, she played a key role in the Guatemalan coup which led to massive revolts and a Civil War. She then traveled to Venezuela where she worked with the US Military on several confidential operations. Earning the respect of US officials, Michone was placed in charge of a platoon of 480 Marines. Upon this promotion, Michone immediately marched her troops into the heart of enemy territory and deserted them, defecting from the US Military and joining forces with a small band of anarcho-terrorists.
Due to her war crimes, Michone remains wanted by the US Department of Defense. To evade capture and imprisonment, she moved to a suburban community in Ohio and changed her name to Piper. There, she was mentored by Aiko, and adapted to domestic life. She still remains a close personal friend of Henry Kissenger, as they share the same birthday.
Piper became top dog in 2020 after the passing of Aiko and she hasn’t looked back since. She has gained some confidence in her prowess, but this has also led her to become more bloodthirsty and disobedient. The human race can only hope she does not relapse back into her Michone days.
Piper is missing several of her teeth due to a genetic gum disorder, this also causes her to have very nasty breath. She also has a recurring urinary tract infection due to her constant licking of her own ass. These issues may be caused by an inflammitory food allergy, but this is yet to be determined.
Piper has been skunked twice due to her hubris.
Piper has been accused of wearing blackface after attempting to burrow inside a mulch pile. Photographic evidence of this incident has essentially barred her from holding public office.
There is some speculation that Piper had involvement in the infamous September 11th terrorist attacks in New York City. However, many are skeptical of these rumors as Piper was born in 2014.
Piper has destroyed a countless number of Seymour’s mouse, once even swallowing and pooping one out whole. This has caused some instability to the mouse economy, and Seymour is poising to retaliate. She will also destroy Rowdy’s ball if given the opportunity, causing him great anguish and distress.
Last modified: Wed Oct 16 19:58:47 2024